April i understood Oscar why let me down, the truth is simple the one in his heart already before i met him. So hurt....
May, 3th is Oscar's birthday, wish u everything sucessful, good health!~
February 14 07 K suddenly have to go funtion, i waited for him until 10pm then he came. But he can't prove anything let me trust him. After had the dinner he left early, i felt he doesn't care me like before. I have felt I am not his IP girl, he made me really disappointed.
yesterday i bought a watch to K for valentine's gift, before i took other watch not that classic one, but K must want to know what i'll buy to him, so when i told him, he said didn't like that kind then i changed it. That's make me angry because before he decided take that one he was spent a lot of time.. but 13/2/07 today i sick , feel so uncomfortable i'm worry...
I'm not to be used to live with K, our habits are so different, just 2 days i already so contrived...how can i live with K in future? But I like to be his girl, i know i like him but this feeling make me contradictious...how can i tell him and won't make him angry?
O, i was angry with u, but i 've forgiven u. When we 2nd dating watched " A very long engagement" U holded my hands at first time, u made me happiness never happened. 3rd dating after watched "Be with u" and we went to IKEA wonder change the room to be rainforest, u let me feel u really like "Green" I though yr heart like a kid... My parents was broke up let me know "Love never ever" i never plan, but u made me to wonder our future, i wnt to be with u....But the reality let me back to the truth, i never know you, u have other girl or not? Why u need go to France? Own business of three hundred thousand? such as these questions, I feel strange the fact i don't know u. I just though i really like u but i don't understand u. I'm not a good girlfd, i don't know how to help you. In love i never care about what do u need, i just care do u as same as like me never give for u...now i knew so late....we both hurt already, can't back the time. now i just wish u solve yr problem, lives happiness, sucessful in yr future without a hitch and good health. I knew O ever in my heart event i in love again, memory in my mind cannot change. I'm not deserve be happiness.
two x'mas holiday was gone actually just one day only..today i waked up hardly so sleepy...but i got the DKNY watch in this xmas, feel better~2006 it's hard for me, my job, my difficult software of G.D. lessons..may be i can't pass! i...my love all make me disappointed! Happiness why don't u be with me?
2006/10/28 Last time met O, after we kept contact, but he clearly told me he can't promise anything in this moment, because he has trouble in business. Before i saw the fortune of O it said he'll have big trouble in 40 years old, but i'm not expect to happen right now, i'm not ready to solve suddenly because i just start to save the fund for him. At first, i hardly asked K borrow money to me, but the amount is three hundred thousand, i know i need to count the cost for him. This amount not anyone can pay... But his answer is YES! I told O i can help him and he asked me how can i do this? When he knew we can't meet again but he need the money so that moment we have no choice ,can't say anything. I never been happen this situation like the film, the feeling was so bad.. next two day i received the cheque and deposit to O' a/c and also when i took the cheque i need to give up leave HK with Mum be with K. This moment i know money is so important! But that's not the worstest case let me wake up to reality is O can't get the money that's why K stop payment after he checked O' background. O disppointed with me and said some so hurt me let me knew he actually just care the money not me! I'm not deserve give up what i want for O! Silly, i'm so silly...my heart has already empty. I hate to give anymore, i won't!! I Lost! Totally lost...
i want to quit my job,may be i earn more two months money next year i ll leave hk, the fortune told me i can't get what i want so everything is meaningless to me, now i need to earn money to leave. o make me feel he doesn't care of me,i can fool anybody but just o i'm treasure unfortunately this turn he fool me.im empty don't want to work,don't want to live..just want to quit, may be 07i can solve it.
過去讓它過去,來不及重頭喜歡你,總是想再見你,聞不到你的氣息,原來你就住在我心裡...<心動>
